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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Thoughtful Lunchtime

Do you ever feel like God is too busy for you? Like maybe there are way more serious things He is working on and you are just left alone to deal with things as they come? This is how I have been feeling lately. I know He is always with me, but I have just been SO down in the dumps and the more I pray the more frustrated I seem to get!! What am I doing wrong? I have been trying to see everything through rose-colored glasses and REALLY focusing on the positives in my life rather than the negatives, but my fuse just seems way too short these days. Know what I'm missing? NEW good. Like, every day is just fine. Okay. Nothing spectacular happens, nothing fancy, no news. Just the day comes, the day goes...there's some fussing from the baby, some tantrums from the boys, I change diapers, cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner, bedtime and boom - next day. Same thing. Just way too monotonous for this girl!! I do recognize this can be a good thing...I wouldn't want any BAD news to replace the NO news, but what about some good stuff? Even just middle of the road good news? I mean, yes, every day my kids wake up healthy and Shaun and I don't fight...I guess that's "good" news. But I just feel stuck in a rut! Bored, bored, bored! I realized yesterday this feeling started about the time my Bible study was winding down. This is the same time I stopped reading. The Bible, that is. So. I think I need to find some time and get back in the good Book. And read me some Good news!

I also feel like I have some stories inside just wanting to get out, so I'd love to find time to get those down on "paper". Unfortunately, we have a separation issue with Zoe and this results in no me-time...unless you count the few hours at a time she is sleeping overnight. When I, too, am attempting to get some winks in. I just keep reminding myself...these days will not be forever. Just a warning, though - don't tell me it goes by fast. No matter how much I enjoy the present, it will always feel it went by too fast.

Talk soon.

1 comment:

Katy said...

I can TOTALLY relate to that feeling...TOTALLY...
For ME, I went through such a spell of bad things happening all the time, I try to remind myself in those monotonous (sp?) times that at LEAST bad things aren't happening. I can't imagine your life, Audrey...I think about you ALOT...how you must have to constantly rev yourself up, constantly encourage yourself, etc., etc. I know you go to church. Do they have a "Mother's Morning Out" thing or anything like that? It seems to ME (the non-mother who has NO right to say JACK SQUAT about ANYTHING to you) that there's just GOT to be SOME kinda SOMETHING you do JUST for YOU at least one day each week...something to look forward to...is there anything you can think of like that, that would be doable, considering your schedule/circumstances?
Gosh, if I lived anywhere NEAR you, I'd come hang for a few hours at least once a week to allow you that.