Saturday, June 5, 2010

Saturday Morning

So far this morning we have had numerous breakdowns, several tantrums, scrambled eggs and grapes, cleaning, playing with blocks, 3 poopy diapers, throwing blocks, 2 timeouts, and 1 hour of working on getting the baby down for a nap. It's 9 am. What does the rest of this day hold?

I have been struggling with discipline pretty much the entire time I've been a mom. Spankings? Time-outs? Talking tos? Ignorance? What is the answer? I literally go in circles trying different things. Different combinations. I know consistency is key, but I honestly feel the most important part of consistency is being consistent about what is and isn't allowed. Time out is not always convenient or even possible. Spanking is sometimes only to make myself feel better - when they are REALLY in trouble. You know the rules are clear when they break one and look right at you in anticipation of the response. This leads me to believe sometimes ignoring the behavior is best. Unfortunately, ignoring isn't always easy either. I've heard and read such a range of theories from toddlers' brains being comparable to cave men to using "love and logic" works best. Is there an answer? I don't think so. I think you just have to set ground rules, respond to them appropriately for the infraction, and make sure "downtime" is full of obvious love. When they aren't crying or whining I shower them with affection and praise. When they get cranky, I try to "solve" it or just ignore it. I'm not saying this works for all kids, but it's what I am hoping will work for mine.

While I was typing this (literally 5 minutes), we had quite the show here in the kitchen. Jack got up on the table. I ignored this. Henry got up on the table. Still ignoring. They began to mess with the cord to the light, so I pulled them both off the table and went back to typing. While I pulled them down one of the chairs fell and they then had a fight between the two of them about who was going to pick the chair up. Really? Necessary? No. I was content to let them yell it out, but daddy came in and broke it up. This resulted in everyone crying and whining...until they realized I wasn't picking them up because of it and now they are playing "robot". I just described 2 minutes of our day. 2 minutes. Jealous? I didn't think so.

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