Sunday, June 15, 2008

Sad day

Well, for me it is. Henry has weaned himself. He has officially not nursed in over 24 hours. You would think I would be happy about this...it's what I've been dreading - the whole "process" - and I had been hoping it would somehow just happen, but I feel like it's too soon! Even though I have been telling people I was trying since 6 months old. Sigh. It feels like he doesn't need me anymore! He lets Shaun rock him to sleep, drinks a bottle of formula just fine...maybe I'm sad because he still seems so little to me? I just keep remembering how sweet he looked and how happy he would be the second he latched on. He has been nursing since day one in the hospital, and I felt like I might even end up having to go to his school in kindergarten for snacks and lunch time! Turns out my baby Henry is growing up all on his own. He even slept through the night since he stopped nursing. Another "victory" that I'm not so sure how I'm feeling about. If I'm this upset about weaning, what am I going to do when all these boys start going to school and spending nights over at friend's houses?!? Jack, however, is still going strong. Thankfully, because I feel like I'm producing enough for an army!! I think what's making me most upset is that I have officially made the decision to go back to work and I'm starting to stress about spending enough time with all my boys. I love when I get a chance to spend time with each individually, but there just aren't enough hours in the day. I do know I will appreciate our times together more once I'm back working. I know it's what we need...it's just hard to completely convince my heart.

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